Motorcycle Diaries

The morning after we returned from Halong Bay we packed up all our gear and headed over to Huang's garage where we picked up our dirtbikes. Smith was on year 2000, 230cc Honda with electric start, I was on a 1996, 175cc Yamaha with a kickstart, and gears that could never find neutral, and our guide Minh was on a 125cc Russian made Minsk motorbike left over from the war, famous for breakdowns and no suspension.

Together we were most badass motorcycle gang Vietnam had ever seen. We strapped down our packs and headed out of the city. There are 3.5 million people living in Vietnam, and 2 million motorbikes. The majority of the traffic lights flash yellow, and to cross an intersection you just proceed straight ahead, the other drivers can smell fear, so confidence is a must, and nerves of steel don't hurt.

I manage to stall at every red light as we head out of the city, buses honking at me, trucks flashing their lights... We get to some road that's under construction, dust flying everywhere, mud, puddles, sand, people, dead ends, livestock everywhere...this is mayhem, and we're only 1 hour into a 5 day trip.

We rode 300 kilometers that day, both Smith and I had some close calls with some water buffalo that had stopped in the middle of the road. Minh said no rain for the trip; he was right for about 6 hours until torrential downpours had us huddled under a hut with some locals. Smith's raincover for his pack flew off a few kilometers back, so everything he owned got soaked. We were happy to arrive around 7pm that night In Ha Giang (Ha Zan) where we were greated with Bia Hoi (draft beer for 20 cents a glass) and some locals that rarely saw foreigners and invited us to go to discotec with them.

We passed on the clubbing and ended up at a restaurant that had run out of food, and served us fried fat, pineapple, and tomatoes. We got to our guesthouse which had 3 beds per room, and passed out.

Now for the highlights to save time:

I run out of gas as we pull into a gas station

Almost crash into water buffalo

Visited the palace of the Mong King (mountain people)

Tried to catch a chicken for dinner (farmer says his all died from bird flu)

Cham Vu Cham means "100%" you say it to a person and you cheers and finish your drink

Breakfast is no different than lunch or dinner, pork and beef are perfectly acceptable choices

We pass people who've never seen Americans and we feel like rockstars the way they wave at us, and come out of their houses when they hear us coming

I break a small plastic kiddie chair at lunch and fall on my ass

Another hotel with 3 beds?

We plant rice with the locals, they're better than us

Woman invites us in for rabbit

We hear gunshots, and watch army target practice

Played soccer with Viet kids

Crash Viet dinner party, they all say the following "Hello, my name ___, you drink rice wine wit me?" we have no choice, they won't let us leave.

Breathtaking scenery

Karaoke...

Opportunity to eat dog presents itself, we pass.

Sleeping naked again

My geat shifter breaks, clutch is hanging by a thread

I hit gravel while taking a turn at 30 mph and my bike slips out from under me. I slide along the asphalt and cut up my arm and knee. Smith see's my head bounce off the ground, but the helmet saved my life. There are chunks of plastic missing from the helmet. I'm fine, but shaken up

We spend 2 entire days on dirt roads with rocks, puddles, rivers, forests, jungles, and mud up to out knees. We ruin our clothes, and leave our socks behind each night

Smith burns his leg on his exhaust and puts a big hole in his pants

I'm forced off the road by a bus in my lane trying to pass a truck and i hit a pile of bricks which throws off the alignment and costs me $10 when I return the bike

Started with 4 turn indicators, finished with 1, which I'm keeping as a momento

Flat tires, wet spark plugs, no rear brakes, no mirors, food shortage, riding at night, taking a boat up the river with only the moon and fireflys to guide us, staying in the house of an ex-soldier in the North Vietnamese Army (not our side), corn whiskey, great pictures, adrenaline rushes, riding single file up and down trails not even suitable for hiking along a 60 foot ledge...

We're black and blue, but breathing nonetheless.

-Josh